Ball pit fun

We went to Matty Gundersen's 3rd birthday party on Saturday. Jonathan had a great time, he loved it in the ball pit.

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

Yesterday was a great day. It was exactly 12 days till Christmas so we got our decorations out of the loft to put them up. Whilst we were putting them up we put my old Christmas record on, my and Buddy was dancing around the living room whilst Tony did the tree. Tony found my mistletoe head boppers which I put on and Jonathan loved them. Jonathan loves the lights on the tree too.

The evening was just as good. We had a taster session and the Christmas draw at Slimming World. I helped Carol with the draw which I won twice, I won a smellies set and a box of wine gums. The fruit baskets we got from the veggie shop was fantastic. Carol has decided that it will be nice to get a basket every week from them alternating between fruit and veg. It will be great for the shop and less hassle for Carol making the draw prize up each week.

Normal?

I've been fine all day but suddenly it seems like I've passed Jonathan over to Tony. That I don't want to feed, change his nappy, put him to bed etc. Is this normal for someone with PND??

We recieved our wedding album and canvas in the post on Thrusday it looks great.

I had a bad night Thursday night, I really couldn't settle so ended up reading my book till early hours of the morning. I also had thoughts of running away. I have no idea why I love my family so much I'd hate to leave them.

I started off feeling dodgy yesterday I think my bad night unsettled me but as the day went on I managed to pull myself out of it. We went to Waitrose in the afternoon to spend the £75 of supercheques Tony got from work. By the time we got home I felt much better so in the evening we went to the slimming world Christmas party.

Wendy's daughter Jen came to babysit little man for us. I had to go home briefly at the beghinning of the night as Jonathan was sick and really screaming but thankfully once I had changed his sleeping bag and given him cuddles he settled down OK and we ended out till gone 11pm. Not bad for someone who wasn't sure if I could face it.

50/50

It's been a bit of an up and down day today. Tony bless him stayed up after his night shift to give me a lay in as I had a bad night last night. I was feeling down because all evening after getting home I was on my own. Tony was working, Jonathan was in bed and Buddy stayed in his bed in the kitchen all evening so felt a bit down. Tony came back in his break though to try and make me feel a bit better.

After lunch we both took Jonathan to the rainbow room at the childrens centre. He had a great time watching the bubbles and chewing the fibre optics. He also kept bumping his head on the mirror as he was trying to get to the family in the mirror (us).

When we got home Tony went to bed for a couple of hours and I gave Jonathan his bottle and put him upstairs for a nap. He napped for about an hour and then he came down a played for about half hour by which time he was showing signs he was really tired again, so I tried to put him up for another nap. He wouldn't settle so after 15 minutes I bought him back downstairs but everything I tried he wasn't happy with. I started to feel a bit defeated but thankfully Jonathan finally decided he was happy if he was laying on me whilst I lay on the sofa. Little Monkey!!

Another good day

Had a doctors appointment today. He was really pleased with how I've come on, he said he hasn't seen me this well for a while. Made my first appointment for depression counselling for the 4th Jan. Went to see Debbie at the children's centre she confirmed that I've had a really good week and most of it has been due to me giving myself a push and also recognising that I shouldn't commit to something and just see if I feel up to it on the day and also she agreed keeping a blog was a good idea and a good way to help me remember the good days.

Got a few things done at home today as well. I'm really pleased with myself.

A good day

I think the tablets may have kicked in, I've had a good day today. Tony bless him stayed up till 10am even though he had just finished a busy night shift. He took both boys for a walk and then put Jonathan down for a nap and joined me for a cuddle in bed. I got up and straight away felt better than I have for a while.

When Jonathan got up we both had some dinner. Then I decided to take Jonathan to Busy Babies. I knew our project worker Debbie would be there so I thought it was a good day to take that step as I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow. I managed to stay at the club for the whole time leaving just 5 minutes before the end because Jonathan was tired and wanted a bottle. I joined in conversations and felt OK for most of it. There was the odd time I felt a bit uncomfortable but a reassuring smile from Debbie and I felt a bit better.

I've sorted the dishwasher out and sorted Jonathan's clothes out which Tony had already put in the wash they just needed drying and sorting.

I'm really pleased with how today has gone